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Painful changes

Thanks to all taking the time to read this and apologies as it has been some time since I took to the keypad. Well here it is. My bio says 'the odd blog on life' and it has been a long time coming! 

Nothing stays the same I was told when very young. How true and how hard that can be to deal with. We all face many changes in our lives all the time, but what if that relates to change in a person, a close friend or relative, or worse still a sibling. 

Everyone changes a little as we grow older, I think we can all accept that. Some people become a little more intolerant or grumpy, others perhaps a little more selfish. But what if that family member changes to the extent that they become hard to recognise as the person you once knew and loved. The realisation that being in their company makes you so unhappy, that it is better not to be around them. As Helen Hunt said to Jack Nicholson in As Good as it Gets, 'I don't think I can be around you any more. You don't make me feel good about myself.' I am pleased to say that that particular one has a happy ending. Behaviour that becomes unrecognisable can be extremely hard to cope with. 

But what can cause this and what drives it? Living a distance from family members can cause a rift and allow things to drift, but it doesn't need to and I won't accept this as the reason. When I lived away from close family, I had a realisation that it was all the more important to keep in regular contact. Make sure you do this because there will come the day when it is too late, especially as your parents become older. Regrets afterwards will not fix anything! I once had a boss who used to say to me D.I.N. (Do it now) Very good advice and it has never left me! So pick up the phone, send the card or even better, make the trip and show you care.

Often money changes people. However, never assume this needs to be in a bad way. Many people make money but still have time for family. Richard Branson is a sterling example of this, hugely successful, but always a place in his heart for his beloved mother. He has never forgotten what she has done for him over the years - unconditional love on both sides. However sadly money can also breed arrogance and contempt, two very undesirable traits! Money can cause people to make assumptions about themselves and the people round about them and can cause them to behave in an unacceptable manner. They may become deluded and irrational about many things and sadly material possessions and trophies become more meaningful to them. A quote I read recently on the bio of one of my followers summed this up perfectly, 'you are not truly rich until you have things that money cannot buy.' 

Don't allow rifts to happen, don't allow situations to spiral out of control and don't allow time to pass and situations to worsen. When you are young you don't comprehend the passage of time but as you approach middle age you have a strong awareness of the speed at which time passes and how short and precious life is. 

I hope this blog may help anyone who may find themselves in an unhappy or stressful family situation and that they may take steps to rectify this if possible. If this cannot be done then stay as strong as possible and never give up hope that that person may some day have a realisation of what their behaviour has caused. Wherever you are tonight I hope you are having a peaceful time with family or friends and never forget that family is king!

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